My Writing Pledge.... Broken

I took a writing pledge
Not really a risk edge.
Write two sentences in a book
Simple enough, but just now look!
I broke that stupid pledge so
Whaddya know
I've got problems to the roof.
I really shouldn't have been a goof.
Monkeys shriek when I try to speak
Everywhere I sit there happens to be a leak
Rain follows me every where ruining my day
No one can understand what I say!
I hate this, I hate this
Every shot I take is always a miss.
It was just something written for fun
Next thing you know I'll be looking down a gun!!
I'm sorry I broke my pledge, I'll fix it the moment I can
For right now I'm busy TRYING to get rid of Stan....